Learning To Fall
by Light Up The Sky
Summary: Life has meaning only if one barters it day by day for something other than itself.
1. The Last Something That Meant Anything

A/N: Alright alright, my friends haley, tricia, angela have been 'talking' (more like nagging) to me about writing a Twilight fanfiction. Angela finally gave me an idea with a little help from Haley I have a story in the process. I think it's going to be good. Sorry if it sucks like no other. haha(: review if you think its good. Or else I'll think I'm a horrible writer. This is my first Twilight fiction. Enjoy kids(:!

"Edward," Bella looked up at me, her eyes saying everything. She had waited long enough and she wasn't going to wait much longer for me. I could, though, ask her for more time. A year or two? Maybe four? Just touch her lips with mine and make her forget what we were even talking about or what she was thinking. I had that ability. I've done it before. It wasn't hard.

After our wedding and after we had made love she immediatly wanted to change. But I beat my way around the bush with my body and lips. Like I said, it wasn't hard. Though it takes a lot to persuade her being her stubborn self but it happened. It could happen again.

I looked down at Bella, pleading with my eyes to just wait, give me more time. I wasn't ready. But then again, I'm not sure I'll ever be ready.

Here she was, face to face with me, her blood-sucking spouse, sitting on our king sized bed in our new apartment. Her hands folded in a begging position, staring at me straight in the eye.

God, she was so perfect. Her skin was flawless, creamy, and soft. Her hair fell down past her breasts, dark brown and silky. Her lips were like strawberries. Red and had a natural pout to them. I could kiss her any day, any second, but with the look on her face I could tell I wasn't going to be allowed to beat around the bush. This bush was filled with thorns and wasn't afraid to use them. Damn.

"Edward," She said again, this time with less softness. She knew what I was thinking and what I was planning to do. And I'm the one who can read minds. Is she sure she isn't a vampire? Maybe she is and just doesn't know it.

I looked at her again.

No. She's not. Damn, it was a nice try.

I sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly before asking, "Are you sure?"

She gave me a look that said 'What do you think, stupid? I've been waiting for more than a year for this.'

I waited for her answer. Say no, say no, say no.

"I'm sure."

I closed my eyes and took another breath and sighed, licking my lips. I nodded.

"Alright, let's do it."

Bella smiled bigger than I've ever seen her smile. Her pearly white teeth shinning in the light. She threw her arms around me, squeezing the life out of me.

"Oh Edward thank you, thank you!" She buried her face in my chest and kissing me. I forced a smile on my face. As long as she was happy I was happy.

I pulled her away and took her hands in mine. God, she was so soft.

I leaned my forehead against hers and closed my eyes, moving my hands to her face. I kissed her passionately. This would be my last kiss with the human Bella. My real Bella. Of course I would still love her. I would always love her, but she wouldn't be the same. She wouldn't be Isabella Swan Cullen. I don't know what she would be, except for a vampire. My vampire. My vampire Bella. But never my Bella. God, that sounds so confusing. She would be Bella but never Bella.

I pulled away slowly, opening my eyes. Her eyes opened slowly after mine. She smiled, warmly.

"I love you Edward,"

I kissed her again.

"I love you Bella,"

There was a long pause and I took as much time as I could just staring into her big brown eyes.

"Alright, let's do it,"

A/N: okay! it's a cliffie I know. hahaha. I'm nice. You should be nice too, by leaving me reviews duh!


	2. One Man's Drinking Games

A/N: I updated(: I'm trying to update every week but it might be really hard. So please be patient with me. I'm not sure if I even like this story. Honestly, it all depends on your reviews. It sounds lame that I depend on your opinions and reviews but I want to know if I'm doing a good job or not. I hope you like this chapter(:

Where we left off...

"I love you Edward,"

I kissed her again.

"I love you Bella,"

There was a long pause and I took as much time as I could just staring into her big brown eyes.

"Alright, let's do it,"

I led Bella into our small and only bathroom. The paint on the walls was a discolored green and had been painfully chipped by it's previous owner.

I picked her up by her slender hips and set her down on the counter. She squirmed anxiously and smiled at me. My hands were sweating as I grabbed a cloth from the towel rack and sat it down next to her thigh, squeezing it while taking a deep breath trying to release my nerves on the fabric.

Bella and I had talked about this before, on the night of our wedding, she asked what it felt like. I told her it would hurt, but that I would try and make it quick and less painful for her. She asked me how it happens. I wasn't entirely sure since I had never done it before but Carslile had explained the basics to me and the precise place where I was suppose to bite her.

"You need to be extremely careful where you bite her. Anywhere besides her pulse with release too much blood, making it hard when you inject your saliva into her because her body won't be able to comprehend and it will lead to terrible conditions." Carslile explained.

But making sure I knew where I was suppose to mark her wasn't the problem. The problem was if I was going to be able to control myself. The last time I was put to the test I almost killed her, because of Carslile, Jasper, and Emmett I was able to return to normal. But now it was just Bella and myself, and I'm not sure I can handle myself.

Bella knew. Bella's smart, she knew what I was thinking. She took my hand gently and said she believed that I could do it. I nodded and agreed. I could do it.

So why was I nervous? I'm not some lovesick teenage boy who's about to ask the girl of his dreams to marry him. I had already accomplished that. I'm over 100 years old! I shouldn't be nervous, I'm a vampire for Christ sake!

I watched silently as Bella brushed all of her long hair over her left shoulder, baring the right side of her neck at me. I lifted a shaky hand and touched her.

I glided my index finger over her forehead, the bridge of her nose, my thumb brushing her lips, I felt a rush of electricity surge through my body when she pushed her lips at my thumb lovingly. I traveled down her chin and curved up to her cheekbone, she giggled when I trailed down the outside of her ear. I carved the outlook of her beautiful porcelain face in remembrance putting every freckle, every placement of her muscles as a picture in my mind and tattooing it to my heart.

When I reached her neck she flinched. I pushed two fingers against her pulse, finding the mark. I licked my lips and looked at her for one last time as the human Bella. I slowly leaned forward my mouth opening showing my sharp canines.

I love you Bella, I sadly thought. I kissed her pulse and put my hand on her shoulders, rubbing up and down trying to soothe her. Her arms wound around my neck loosely and she pushed her face in my hair, breathing in my scent as I was also.

"Edward," She said, so softly that I barely heard her. I pulled away and looked up.

Her lips pressed against mine with force. Before I could respond she pulled away.

"Okay," She whispered and took a deep breath. "I'm ready."

I smiled lightly and focused back on her neck. I took a couple of breaths and then lightly touched her pulse with my teeth.

This is it, I thought, gathering enough saliva in my mouth.

I closed my eyes, silently counting off.

3...2...

Tears soaked my scalp and hair and small tears caressed my eyes.

...1...

Bella screamed so loud that my ear drums popped within seconds. I didn't care nor did I care that her fingernails were digging into my skin, making me bleed. I injected her with my saliva and licked her.

The smell of her blood flooded my senses, giving me the ultimate high. As it trickled out of my markings I continued to lick it up as if it was juice. I couldn't stop. God, it was like heroine.

Stop.

Stop it. Edward stop.

I can't.

I was basically sucking the blood out of her.

Stop. Stop. Stop it.

It was too late before I realized that it was Bella talking. Yelling. Still screaming. But it was too late. I already jumped off the bridge.

Her blood was swimming through my veins. Lathering my body.

More. More. More.

I needed so much more.

A painful sting hit me like a ton of bricks. She had kneed me in the stomach and groin. I held onto the towel rack to keep me from collapsing. Bella stared into my eyes and slowly blinked, holding onto her neck.

Isabella.

My high was washed away quickly when I saw the tears pouring out of her eyes.

"Bella," I whispered.

She let out a sob and heaved over, falling into my arms.

I held her against my chest and squeezed my eyes shut as I felt her body go limp.

"Oh God," Tears fell down my cheeks.

"Bella, I'm sorry,"

I sank to the floor and cradled her.

"I'm so sorry,"

I've failed you Bella, I'm so sorry. I couldn't control myself. I'm so sorry. Please, please stay with me. Please, forgive me.

...Edward...

A/N: THE LAST PART WAS A THOUGHT! The italics isn't working but I hope you guys understand what he was thinking.

Honestly, I thought that chapter sucked. I thought I just threw all these things and expected them to go in order. Gah! I hope you guys liked it. I don't think I'll be making any of the other chapters this long. So cherish the moment! Haha(: Review!


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